The eagerness with which I start the day.

You would think the sun had already risen and that outside it was a lovely, warm Spring day instead of the dark, cold, icy morning that it really is. That is how eager I am to start the day.  It is a little bit easier to ignore reality when you sit inside by the light of the desk lamp with the curtains drawn and the heater on. If I manage this until the sun really does come up, I can live with this illusion a few hours longer and be perfectly contend.

The start of anything is always easy, it is maintaning the same strong surge forward that is the problem. The initial brilliant idea tends to start to slip from your fingers and you get less secure the further away you get from your starting point. It is very important to, in your mind, return to it and the initial idea, and focus on them and remind yourself of exactly what you had in mind.

Today I want to strictly focus on the facts of life and not get caught in the muddied swamp of my emotions. It is a day to take inventory and find out exactly where I stand. 

I have a tendency to want to approach everything with logic because I think that the emotional approach is too subjective and not so reliable. I must admit, though, that more and more I have come to rely on my instincts and that very often they do not point me in the wrong direction. The thing is that I do not know if instincts are subjective or objective, but I almost think that they are the most primieval objective part of us.

So I must live and draw my conclusions accordingly and not ignore them because my instincts may be a very quick, subconscious calculation of the facts. 

Having stated that, and thinking about it just now, I believe that and think I am on to something. I have gained another wisdom thinking out loud behind the keyboard, although I did not really speak the words that clearly into the air. I only whispered them softly as I do when I write anything down.