Oh. darn it!

I had been having trouble walking for a while but I thought it was because of the bad callous under my foot and when I had it taken care with a pedicure while I was in the States, I thought my troubles would be over. Imagine my surprise then when this turned out not to be the case. Not only were my problems not over, they slowly got worse and the last few weeks they increased in seriousness. 

My left foot seemed to not want to co-operate any longer andI could not make it obey me and make the moves with it that I wanted to make. I also started to twist my ankle when I walked Tyke and several times was at danger of falling over completely.  I had trouble putting my jeans and socks and shoes on and getting into my pajama pants. I started to feel unsure when I moved around and felt increasingly uncomfortable when I was out and about. 

I finally decided to make an appointmant with my GP and I saw him yesterday morning. I told him my story and about the pain and loss of feeling in my lower leg and the pain in my ankle. He had me partially undress and did a series of tests which I did not do well on. His conclusion was that I have a classic case of "foot drop." 

I have lost control over the end part of my left foot and he thinks it will not come back. It could get worse. My first reaction was that I did not want all sorts of scans and neurological tests done and that I did not want an orthopedic ankle/foot brace. I want to not get caught up in the medical rat race and I do want to live my life as normally as possible.

My GP said that the choice was up to me but that if it got worse, I did have to promise to return to him and I said I would. Since then I have been trying to get used to the idea of this medical reality and I have been highly pi**ed off about it. I just do not know who to be angry with. I have a hard time accepting that this is so but I have to face the truth.

I had a good talk about it with the Exfactor last night and got some of my frustrations and worries out. I want to not become dependent on the help of other people and keep doing as much as I can for myself as I do now. And that also means going for my regular walks with Tyke, albeit a little slower and more carefully.

I do realize that I need some help walking and I discussed this with the Exfactor also. I ordered an adjustable walking cane and he is going to fit some clamps on my bicycle so that I will easily be able to take the cane with me when I go anywhere. 

I am not enjoying this at all and it will take time.