Glad to know that

X-rays were made of my back today and I do not have any fractures, so I am moving around a bit better already now that I am not in fear of damaging something in an irreversible way. I think knowing that I will not, has taken the strain of my back. That, and taking the pain medication, should heal me quickly and I ought to be back to normal soon, at least, that is what I assume. I hope to dismiss this subject soon, because it is getting kind of old. I have been concerned about it long enough. 

I just got a text message from my American ex who is now making a stop over at the airport in Houston on his way to Amsterdam. He will arrive there in the morning and take the train to Maastricht. He should be here at noontime. I should really give him a name and I think I will call him The Cowboy. Not that he is in so many ways, but he is an American and I will keep to stereotype. 

Because I had to have the X-rays taken, I missed my hairdresser appointment and that does grieve me. I was looking forward to being pampered which will now have to be postponed. I will try to reschedule it as quickly as I can so that I can be good looking as soon as possible. I did want to make a good impression on the Cowboy and I hope that for the coming week he does not pay attention to me too closely. I will have to use diversionary tactics so he does not notice the state of my hairdo. 

Almost all the chores are done. I have even managed to make the bed in the guest room. I will finish whatever needs doing in the morning and I think that will keep me occupied well enough. I do have to have something to do while I wait for the Cowboy to get here. 

The blog post that wanted to be

I bought a can of extra thick pea soup for my American ex because he loves that so much and it is always one of the first things he wants to eat when he arrives here, but I also have some that was made from scratch by my friend M. and it is slowly defrosting now in the refrigerator. It will be a toss up which he likes best, but the one in the can has sausage in it and I know that he likes that a lot. The one M. made has pieces of ham, it looks like, and I think that must appeal to him just as well, unless it is a vegetarian soup and they are pieces of tofu. I have not yet been able to investigate it well enough. 

I have one day left to get everything in order and I still have to make up the bed in the guest room. My personal helper is going to be here in the morning and I think I will ask her to do that for me, because I do not want to hurt my back. I think she is not going to object to helping me out like that. There is a 5 kg bag of potatoes sitting on the kitchen counter that needs to be moved to the shelf system and I do not think I am going to attempt that. I am getting wiser about what not to do and besides, I would find out immediately that it was to my detriment if I tried to. 

I think I am capable of watering the plants, although it involves carrying them to the kitchen sink and back. The man at the flower shop told me the last time I was there, to give them lukewarm water so as to not shock them. I suppose that would be what a tropical rain feels like. When I was in Cabo San Lucas in Baja California, the water that came from the cold water tap was lukewarm and it was just the right temperature to shower with. That would exactly be the kind of water my plants would enjoy getting. No doubt they would thrive there, although they don't do too badly here. 

I think I will go to bed and find a comfortable position to sleep in. It should help if I take a mild tranquilizer along with the pain medication. I have to be as kind to myself as I possibly can be. Already my back is not behaving well and causing me trouble while I sit here. 

That didn't quite work out

The manual therapist looked surprised when I told him that I had felt like I had been run over by a bus after our first session. I think that was not the answer he was expecting when he asked how I had fared. I thought that was the standard answer for people who had had their first physiotherapy treatment, but apparently that is not the case. That must be an old wife's tale then. 

He examined the state I was in, and it turned out to be worse than it was at the start of the first session, so that did cause him some concern. He proceeded with caution, but had to stop the session shortly into it because of the amount of pain I developed and the tingling in my lower legs and feet. He wants me to go back to my GP before he does anything else, and have this back problem further investigated. He does not trust the diagnosis. 

Today is a holiday (Ascension Day), so the doctor's office is closed. Tomorrow he is not there himself, but the female GP will be. I suppose that she can have a look at my back just as well. One will probably be as competent as the other. Or not. Imagine the kind of shape I would be in if I did not have the pain medication. It does not bear thinking of. 

I had hoped to write about more cheerful things here, but I knew I was not in good shape last night and I slept as much as I could. Not that it is particularly comfortable, but when you are asleep, you are occupied and don't notice what is going on, especially not if you have finally found the best position to lie in. It was fun and games at the beginning when Gandhi and Tyke jumped on the bed and wanted to play and I was in their way. Imagine one big lump and two animals strutting over it. 

The Exfactor has done the groceries and walked Tyke and I am settling in for the rest of the day. I have my bathrobe on over my clothes because I am a bit chilly, although it isn't really cold outside. It must be my worries that are making me so. I have to admit that I am concerned and am wondering what is wrong and that several scenarios play through my head. I will be patient and wait for tomorrow. 

For the love of it

I have a totally free day coming up when I have no appointments at all with anyone and that is an exception for this week. I will have to take complete advantage of it and take a nap when I feel called to do so because I have not been able to in a couple of days. Of course, it is not as if I get so terribly tired during the day, although having a sore back is terribly tiring. I sleep well at night thanks to the new pain medication and I don't have to take any tranquilizers or sleeping pill at all. And I just think of the kind of shape I would be in if I didn't take the pain medication. Thank goodness for small favors. 

I started making a shopping list, but it is getting a bit longer than it usually is because I have to get food for two people instead of just one and a dog and a cat. My American ex will be here this Saturday and I want to get some of his favorite things to eat to start his vacation of right. He very much likes Dutch pea soup (which is unsurpassed in the world), so I want to get a big can of the best brand of that. It may not be the right time of year to eat it, but I can make him happy with that always. And of course, I have to get Dutch cheese, pre-sliced in a big package because he will go through that in no time. 

The shopping list has already gotten so long, that the Exfactor is going to need two runs to the grocery store to get everything and I still hope that I won't forget anything with my drug induced mind. Oh well, it is not as if we are incapable of going to the store ourselves to get whatever has been overlooked.  My American ex likes nothing better than to shop and try out new things, and that is why I am going to give him the use of the bike with the carrier bags, so he will always be able to easily bring things home with him. The seat on it just needs to be raised a bit still. 

I hope the weather will improve a bit because it has rained for the past two days and not a little bit either. I still have to air all the bed linens for the guest bed and I need a bit of a breeze and some sunshine for that. Whoever is in charge of the weather, needs to be appealed to, but maybe you have your own deluge to worry about. 

Let me count the ways

After I saw my psychiatrist yesterday morning, I also saw my GP because I thought it was better if he had another look at my very sore back and that we should clear up some confusion about the state of it. This time we got down to the heart of things much better and I think it must be partly my fault that we don't always communicate well. He examined my back and we had a good explanative talk about it and what was wrong with it and what to do about it. In the end, I felt a lot better about the whole thing.

First of all, he prescribed a painkiller which is a combination of Tramadol and paracetamol and I can take a tablet once every eight hours. Secondly, he prescribed manual therapy, which I have had for back problems in the past and of which I knew that it works. 

Because the Exfactor was coming over to do some chores for me, he was able to stop by the pharmacy to pick up the tablets and I called the physiotherapy practice as soon as I had a chance. It turned out that the manual therapist could see me right away in the afternoon. 

Once the manual therapist started working with me, it turned out how limited I was in my movements and there were things I absolutely could not do. After the first session, I moved a bit smoother and easier, but by the time I got home, I felt like I had been run over by a bus. I suppose that is normal when your sore back gets pushed and twisted around. I have my next appointment on Thursday and in the meantime regularly have to do one exercise to keep my back loosened up. 

The painkiller is a very pleasant medicine to take, not only because it helps with the pain, but also because it makes me feel mentally so pleasant. This is the most "normal" I have ever felt without actually feeling any kind of a high. I can now understand why people get hooked on pain medication. I don't have to take any tranquilizers, nor would it be advisable to. I am relaxed enough like this and would like to always feel this way. 

Tomorrow, tomorrow...

I am a bit worried about getting all the chores done before my American ex gets here and frankly, a very mild panic is grabbing a hold of me. I have to tell myself to calm down and very reasonably think this through and come up with a solution. It is not that there needs to be an awful lot done, but they are all chores that require someone with a strong back, which I don't happen to have at the moment. I am fearful of doing any bending and twisting and lifting in case of doing further harm. As of yet, I don't know exactly what is really wrong with my back and until I find out, I don't want to do anything that will mess it up further. 

Of course, at the same time I want to stay perfectly relaxed and act like there is nothing wrong and move about completely at ease. I try to use all the relaxation techniques that I know and adopt a good posture in whatever position I am in, whether I sit, stand or walk. I think one of the things not to do, is to slouch, so I constantly try to keep my back as straight as I can. I tell you, being mindful of your posture is a full-time job. 

For a change I am glad that the weekend is over, because I could do so little, that I was bored. Normally, I find all sorts of chores to take care of, but that was not in the planning this time. I constantly had to think of ways to amuse myself and cut the days up in little snippets of time in which I did in each one something different than I did in the one before, but sometimes I had a hard time coming up with anything good. In the end, I pretended that I was recuperating from an illness and that this was my rest and relaxation time. That helped a little bit and I also allowed myself a couple of naps. 

I don't recommend self injury because it is a very boring way to spend your days. There is only so much time you can spend behind the computer and you really do run out of dishes to wash. 

I have an appointment with my psychiatrist in the morning to discuss my sudden stop of the use of the extra antidepressant and my use of the sleep medication now that I am dealing with extra pain during the night. I didn't think these were matters that could be discussed over the telephone or by email. 

And I have to wear a belt around my pants to keep them up.